There is a big difference in the transitioning experience between transsexuals with money and those without money. For the former, transitioning is an easy thing, for the latter, it can be a very difficult and emotionally traumatic thing to accomplish.

I know a few transsexuals who had money when they began transitioning. I was privy to their stories of how much money they spent during various stages of their transitioning. One prominent throat surgeon was reported to have spent 100.000$ on her facial surgery. That is not a misprint, 100 Grand to have her face reshaped from a very masculine to a somewhat feminine shape. I also heard her bragging about flying down to Texas to have electrolysis performed by two operators at once paying 100$ per hour for each one. When this person went from living as a man to living as a woman, she spent several thousand dollars on a new wardrobe. No buying a piece here and there for her; unlike most of us, she walked into the finest shops and brought her whole wardrobe at once.

Then there are the bits and pieces one can gather from various blogs and books and speeches. Donna Rose spoke to a local group and she talked about taking the money from her father’s estate and walking out on her wife to transition. Donna didn’t talk about living as a woman while looking like a man. From Donna’s blog, we hear about how her partner, Elizabeth, made an appointment with Dr. Ousterhout at the Southern Comfort Conference after getting a free consultation. Donna had described her as a “newbie” when she met her at the beginning of the conference and here Elizabeth is already slated for FFS before the end of the conference. It was clear that Elizabeth would not be living full time as a woman who looks like a man.

When I use to listen to the amount of money being spent by these people to transition it would drive me into a deep depression. I thought there was no way that I could ever have the money to transition. I thought my only way out of the nightmare of being a woman on the inside and a man on the outside was death. I would pour out my soul in support groups only for it to fall on death ears. There was no support in these groups. Luckily, I had a close and dear person to me who told me to flee the support groups. She would listen to me cry after each meeting and knew that if I continued to visit these groups, she would be visiting me at my grave instead of my home.

I wish I could end this note with an answer. Unfortunately, at the moment I do not have an answer. I have tried talking to the few transsexuals who are prominent in the community and so far, I have been talking to a wall. When I mentioned that the transsexuals who are in a position to maybe help another transsexual find employment, or maybe the ones in a position who can, to hire a fellow transsexual, the answer I got was that there are not that many transsexuals out there. What bullshit; if only one transsexual who could hire another transsexual who was unemployed did so, then at least one more of us may be able to be in a position to transition, to become whole. I also mentioned to one transsexual support group that a member was going to sell Avon products to supplement her household income and that I would be buying from her even though I don’t use Avon products. I fully expected to get emails from the members asking me who the person was so they too could buy from her and help her as well. To date, not one other member asked me about helping her; and they call themselves a support group? I did get this great idea from one of the members who had the money for an easy transitioning. The ones of us who can not afford to get laser to remove our facial hair should go in together and buy, or build as she later thought, an electrolysis machine. Then we are supposed to take turns performing electrolysis on each other. I am supposed to let someone with limited training and knowledge poke needles in my face. I don’t think so. It seems that the transsexuals with money are so far removed from the reality of what it is like to be a poor transsexual without the means to transition, that they just don’t get it.